Why you should not settle for less in your mid-20s

Being single in this Insta-perfect world is definitely not an easy task, especially if you are in your mid-20s and feel some of the pressure of living the same picture perfect life everyone seem to be living on social media. Call it Fear Of Missing Out, call it Fear Of Becoming a Crazy Cat Lady, we sometime feel like we NEED to find a partner to fill the void left in all our solo pictures.

Some of us have come to realise the void should stay as such until someone decent filling it comes along but trust me, each and every one of us has had to go through the dreadful process of dating — especially dating the wrong people. I am sure most of us would have even thought “Oh, this guy is not even that bad” a couple of times to then realise he was, indeed, that bad.

But why do we think we should settle for ‘not that bad’?

I don’t want a ‘not that bad’. And I don’t want him in my mid-20s. The ‘not that bad’ is either the guy that looks good on paper, does the bare minimum to keep us interested and we see as a potential good addition to our Insta feed or the guy we are not really into but shows us some decent enough character traits for us to think we might want to stick around a bit longer.

A ‘not that bad’ guy is easy to find and as easy to lose. Listen to me, if you ever think “Can’t I do better than that?” chances are you can and you should really leave the guy ASAP. It is never nice to lead people on and I am a strong believer that you can let many things grow on you, but not relationships. I could let a type of music or a cuisine grow on me, but not a man.

And with that I don’t mean it’s either love at first sight or nothing, I think there has to be at least a foundation of attraction, be it intellectual, physical, cultural.. any type. You can build on that, but what you can’t do is hoping someone would become more interesting overtime because it’s usually the opposite way. And you would know that if you have been in any kind of relationship before. The trend is always upwards for the first months then it either stabilises or falls down into a break-up. So please please please, do it for yourself: Do not settle!

There is so much more to live for than finding a partner, focus on your hobbies, nurture your friendships, take care of your soul and if things are meant to happen they simply will.

You are still in your mid-20s so this is not the time to settle for average, and not just regarding romantic partners. Do not stay in a job you’re not happy with, do not stick around friends that do not match your vision, do not stay in a place that does not make you feel good.

Explore, enjoy and keep an open mind, good things happen to those who wait.

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Avid reader, lover and red wine drinker. A walk through the emotional rollercoaster modern dating is.

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Alessia D.

Alessia D.

Avid reader, lover and red wine drinker. A walk through the emotional rollercoaster modern dating is.

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